Teodora’s Book Reviews: “Turtles All the Way Down” by John Green (Penguin Random House Books, London, 2017)

I often find myself asking if John Green will ever write a better, more emotional book than “The Fault in Our Stars”. Naturally, when I heard that a new story called “Turtles All the Way Down” was on its way, I couldn’t help but feel excited. As soon as I had the book on my own shelf, I told myself that it would definitely be a page-turner. And indeed it was... only during the first half of the story. From the first moment I realized it was no mystery book (as it seemed to be), that initial spark of interest I had slowly started to drift away.

Rating books is usually not difficult for me. I figure out straight away what I like about a specific story. However, “Turtles All the Way Down” was an exception. Even now, as I’m writing this, I find it extremely hard to describe the way I truly feel about it.

We meet a 16-year-old troubled narrator, Aza Holmes, who is trying to be a good daughter, friend and student. She somehow manages to live a balanced life... that is until she gets stuck in her frightening, ever-tightening spiral of her own thoughts (hence the title of the book, which is apparently a reference to the infinite philosophical regress problem). I thought my overthinking process was intense, but it looks like there could be far more worrying situations. Aza has a self-inflicted wound on her finger and keeps reopening it in order to drain and clean it. She’s afraid of the unsettling bacteria that seethe around her. It’s obvious that she suffers from anxiety and OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder – which is often related to repetitive behaviors). I can’t say that John Green doesn’t capture Aza’s self-doubt and panic in a terrifying, but impressive way (as it is shown in the following paragraph):

“I realize that’s not the sort of sentence that fills most people with horror, but it stopped me cold. It was saying that my bacteria were affecting my thinking – maybe not directly, but through the information they told my gut to send to my brain. Maybe you’re not even thinking this thought. Maybe your thinking’s infected. Shouldn’t’ve been reading these articles. Should’ve gone to sleep. Too late now.” (pages 209-210)

I can’t say that I didn’t want to stop Aza from her insane actions and reassure her that everything was actually fine. There were a lot of scenes which would make me temporarily experience the girl’s downright uneasiness:

“I changed the Band-Aid, looking carefully at the old one. There was blood. Not a lot, but blood. Faintly pink. It isn’t infected. It bleeds because it hasn’t scabbed over. But it could be. It isn’t. Are you sure? Did you even clean it this morning? Probably. I always clean it. Are you sure? Oh, for fuck’s sake.” (page 210)

“I opened the medicine cabinet quietly. Took out the aloe-scented hand sanitizer. I took a gulp, then another. Felt dizzy. You can’t do this. This shit’s pure alcohol. It’ll make you sick. Better do it again. Poured some more of it on my tongue. That’s enough. You’ll be clean after this. Just get one last swallow down. I did. Heard my gut rumbling. Stomach hurt.
Sometimes you clear out the healthy bacteria and that’s when C. diff comes in. You gotta watch out for that. Great, you tell me to drink it, then tell me not to.” (page 210)

I also can’t deny that I didn’t enjoy how Aza referred to her life as if it was written by someone else:

“Felt myself slipping, but even that’s a metaphor. Descending, but that is, too. Can’t describe the feeling itself except to say that I’m not me. Forged in the smithy of someone else’s soul. Please just let me out. Whoever is authoring me, let me up out of this. Anything out of this.
But I couldn’t get out.” (page 211)

Unfortunately, though, I couldn’t relate to the female character at any point and I ended up distancing myself from her messy world.

Another disappointing element was that John Green didn’t actually create a plot full of mystery, as I had expected from the book’s description: “Sixteen-year-old Aza never intended to pursue the mystery of fugitive billionaire Russell Pickett, but there’s a hundred-thousand-dollar reward at stake and her Best and Most Fearless Friend, Daisy, is eager to investigate.” Even the first half of the story made me look forward to potential major plot twists. When you come across a missing billionaire, his unsettled sons and a predominantly secretive mansion, you can only wonder what might happen in the following pages. But it soon becomes clear that the author’s main focus is to highlight Aza’s mental health and its negative effect on the girl’s friendships and love interests. As much as I hate to admit it, the case of the runaway billionaire is nothing more than a confusing subplot, a gap-filler that was somehow unnecessary for the entire story. If you ask me, John Green could have easily written only about anxiety itself and what it feels like to deal with repetitive, tiring thoughts on a daily basis.

Although the readers are to expect a mash-up of insecurities, they will also be surprised to discover an articulated flow of ideas and thoughts coming from many characters. At times I would actually forget that I was reading conversations between ordinary teenagers. However, it also made me aware of the fact that these dialogues may not portrait how teens speak, but rather how they wish to express themselves. Few young people have the actual courage to say what they really think and also come up with something original. Most of them use quotes from books, movies or songs in order to reveal their feelings (something which can be noticed occasionally in John Green’s novel). It has become quite ordinary to do so, but in the end I guess this is what brings most people together.

If you haven’t read anything from John Green and you want to start off your reading trip with his latest novel, then prepare yourself for a world full of thoughts and worries, friends and crushes, late night texting and Star Wars fanfiction (didn’t see that last one coming). For me, “Turtles All the Way Down” may have been just a pocketful of philosophical clichés all the way down. For others, though, the book may turn out to be a convenient and encouraging answer to their cries of help. Truth is, there are plenty of people out there with mental issues which deeply (and scarily enough) affect their relationships and overall well-being.